Strengthen Our Sisters Domestic Violence Shelter Services in Northern New Jersey

It is important to understand the cycle of battering if we are to break it and help those who may be victims of domestic abuse. Though there are always variations in behavior, the following description of the phases of battering have been recognized as the patterns experienced by most victims of chronic abuse.

1. Tension Building Stage - Abuse occurs and escalates. Woman copes with abusive behavior and attempts to control the situation by placating the abuser. She attempts to control external factors. He becomes more oppressive -- he explodes.

2. Acute Battering Stage - (shortest stage) - characterized by the abuse being totally uncontrolled and devastating. Abuser stops only when he's exhausted. Both partners deny, minimize brutality.

The woman will choose any one of several techniques that have proven previously successful. She may become nurturing, compliant and may anticipate his every whim or she may stay out of his way.

She does not permit herself to get angry with the batterer. She resorts to "denial." She denies that she's angry at being unjustly hurt and rationalizes that perhaps she did deserve the abuse.

She tries to control external factors even though she knows these minor battering incidents will only escalate. However, again she denies this to help her cope.

The batterer does not try to control himself because he feels he has a right to discipline his woman. This is reinforced by society's laissez-faire attitude about domestic violence.

He becomes more oppressive, jealous and possessive in the hope that his brutality will keep her captive.

This stage can last for very long periods of time (up to 10 years). Both want to avoid the acute battering stage. External situations will trigger this phase into the next.

There's a definite escalation and intensity before Phase II and the oppressor ceases to respond to any controls.

This stage is characterized by the uncontrollable discharge of tension that has built up during Phase I.

He starts out wanting to teach his woman a lesson, not intending to inflict any particular injury on her, and stops when he feels she's learned her lesson.

The trigger for moving into Phase II is rarely the battered woman's behavior; rather it's usually an external event or the internal state of the man. She occasionally does provoke a phase II incident. This occurs when the couple has been in Phase I for a long time. She knows Phase II is inevitable and wants to get it over with. This way she controls when and why the incident occurs, rather than being at his mercy.

It's impossible to predict the kind of violence that will occur. This anticipation causes severe psychological stress for the battered woman. She becomes anxious, depressed and complains of psychological symptoms; sleepless nights, loss of appetite, or opposite.

Only he can end the Phase II state. Why he stops is still unclear. He may become exhausted or emotionally depleted.

No matter what she does, she gets the beating. She generally realizes he's out of control and she usually won't resist, just waits out the storm and stays calm.

She feels psychologically trapped and unable to free herself from the situation.

Disaster victims generally suffer emotional collapse 22 to 48 hours after a catastrophe. Their symptoms are listlessness, depression, and feelings of helplessness. Battered women are the same. They remain isolated for at least 24 hours and it may be several days before they seek help. They feel no one can protect them from the violence, even the police.

Often police will try to mediate and counsel the 2 people and then leave. Often violence will increase after police leave. It's important to separate the parties at this point.

Studies by Morton Bard, a NYC psychologist who works with police, have shown that when police are properly trained to deal with violent family situations mortality rates go down.

Police understandably become indignant and frustrated because the very person they set out to help turns on them. They interpret her behavior as complicity with her husband's violence. There is a need to understand that the woman knows that when police leave, she'll be left alone with the batterer again and she's terrified of further abuse.

When she attacks police, she demonstrates her loyalty to her batterer, hoping to avoid further beatings.

Battered women have stated that if they were sure that the batterer was removed, and not permitted to return, they would not attack police.

He knows he's gone too far - he tries to make up. It is here where her victimization becomes complete.

A very calm period - the tension built up in Phase I and released in Phase II is now gone.

He also believes he has taught her a lesson and she will never again behave in such a manner, so he'll not be tempted to beat her.

She now wants to believe him, feeling this is the real person rather than the violent part of him.

This is the phase where she usually drops charges, stops separation or divorce proceedings and tries to patch things up.

He makes her feel guilty so she will stay with him. He often threatens suicide. Some actually do after she leaves.

Their relationship is symbiotic - each feeding off the other - both lives are drastically affected by the other. She tries to keep this phase going for a long period of time. However, when this phase is followed by an intense period of phase I behavior, the woman may lose control of her suppressed rage and may seriously injure her man as she feels she cannot cope with further assault.

IMPORTANT SAFETY ALERT!

Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are
afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a
computer at your local library or other location. Or call our local hotline at 1-800-767-9470,
and/or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.


World Peace Begins at Home.

	Return to Articles page Next Article >> Understanding the Cycle of Battering It is important to understand the cycle of battering if we are to break it and help those who may be victims of domestic abuse. Though there are always variations in behavior, the following description of the phases of battering have been recognized as the patterns experienced by most victims of chronic abuse. PHASES 1. Tension Building Stage - Abuse occurs and escalates. Woman copes with abusive behavior and attempts to control the situation by placating the abuser. She attempts to control external factors. He becomes more oppressive -- he explodes. 2. Acute Battering Stage - (shortest stage) - characterized by the abuse being totally uncontrolled and devastating. Abuser stops only when he's exhausted. Both partners deny, minimize brutality. 3. Loving Behavior Stage - promises to change, contrite, begs forgiveness. PHASE I - TENSION BUILDING STAGE Minor battering incidents occur. The woman will choose any one of several techniques that have proven previously successful. She may become nurturing, compliant and may anticipate his every whim or she may stay out of his way. She does not permit herself to get angry with the batterer. She resorts to "denial." She denies that she's angry at being unjustly hurt and rationalizes that perhaps she did deserve the abuse. She tries to control external factors even though she knows these minor battering incidents will only escalate. However, again she denies this to help her cope. The batterer does not try to control himself because he feels he has a right to discipline his woman. This is reinforced by society's laissez-faire attitude about domestic violence. He knows the behavior is wrong and fears she'll leave him. He becomes more oppressive, jealous and possessive in the hope that his brutality will keep her captive. This stage can last for very long periods of time (up to 10 years). Both want to avoid the acute battering stage. External situations will trigger this phase into the next. There's a definite escalation and intensity before Phase II and the oppressor ceases to respond to any controls. A point of inevitability is reached. PHASE II - ACUTE BATTERING STAGE This stage is characterized by the uncontrollable discharge of tension that has built up during Phase I. Batterer fully accepts that his rage is out of control as does she. He ends up not understanding what happened. His rage blinds his control over his behavior. He starts out wanting to teach his woman a lesson, not intending to inflict any particular injury on her, and stops when he feels she's learned her lesson. The trigger for moving into Phase II is rarely the battered woman's behavior; rather it's usually an external event or the internal state of the man. She occasionally does provoke a phase II incident. This occurs when the couple has been in Phase I for a long time. She knows Phase II is inevitable and wants to get it over with. This way she controls when and why the incident occurs, rather than being at his mercy. It's the shortest phase (Usually lasts 2-24 hrs.) It's impossible to predict the kind of violence that will occur. This anticipation causes severe psychological stress for the battered woman. She becomes anxious, depressed and complains of psychological symptoms; sleepless nights, loss of appetite, or opposite. He usually is unable to describe much about what happened. Only he can end the Phase II state. Why he stops is still unclear. He may become exhausted or emotionally depleted. It's not uncommon to wake the woman out of sound sleep to begin his assault. No matter what she does, she gets the beating. She generally realizes he's out of control and she usually won't resist, just waits out the storm and stays calm. She feels psychologically trapped and unable to free herself from the situation. The acute attack is usually followed by initial shock, denial and disbelief. Both rationalize the seriousness of the attack! She'll minimize her injuries - making excuses. She won't seek help during this period unless there's severe injury. Reactions of battered women and catastrophe victims are very similar. Disaster victims generally suffer emotional collapse 22 to 48 hours after a catastrophe. Their symptoms are listlessness, depression, and feelings of helplessness. Battered women are the same. They remain isolated for at least 24 hours and it may be several days before they seek help. They feel no one can protect them from the violence, even the police. Police are usually called during this phase. Police attest to the difficulty of interrupting this stage. Often police will try to mediate and counsel the 2 people and then leave. Often violence will increase after police leave. It's important to separate the parties at this point. Studies by Morton Bard, a NYC psychologist who works with police, have shown that when police are properly trained to deal with violent family situations mortality rates go down. Police also complain of being attacked by women if they intervene in Phase II. Police understandably become indignant and frustrated because the very person they set out to help turns on them. They interpret her behavior as complicity with her husband's violence. There is a need to understand that the woman knows that when police leave, she'll be left alone with the batterer again and she's terrified of further abuse. When she attacks police, she demonstrates her loyalty to her batterer, hoping to avoid further beatings. Battered women have stated that if they were sure that the batterer was removed, and not permitted to return, they would not attack police. PHASE III - KINDNESS & CONTRITE LOVING BEHAVIOR (MOST DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND) Characterized by extremely loving, kind and contrite behavior by the batterer. He knows he's gone too far - he tries to make up. It is here where her victimization becomes complete. A very calm period - the tension built up in Phase I and released in Phase II is now gone. Batterer behaves in a charming and loving way. He begs forgiveness and promises he'll never do it again. He truly believes he will never again hurt the woman he loves. He also believes he has taught her a lesson and she will never again behave in such a manner, so he'll not be tempted to beat her. He says he will change or get help, etc. She now wants to believe him, feeling this is the real person rather than the violent part of him. The chances of him getting help, however, are slim while she stays. This is the phase where she usually drops charges, stops separation or divorce proceedings and tries to patch things up. He makes her feel guilty so she will stay with him. He often threatens suicide. Some actually do after she leaves. Their relationship is symbiotic - each feeding off the other - both lives are drastically affected by the other. She tries to keep this phase going for a long period of time. However, when this phase is followed by an intense period of phase I behavior, the woman may lose control of her suppressed rage and may seriously injure her man as she feels she cannot cope with further assault. Return to Articles page Next Article >> IMPORTANT SAFETY ALERT! Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a computer at your local library or other location. Or call our local hotline at 1-800-767-9470, and/or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
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